A Father’s Instruction to His Son on the Dangers of Adultery
Sexual desire is a natural, holy, and powerful internal drive of humanity. Since it is a powerful drive it is wise and especially important for a parents to teach their children of the dangers that come along when one does not exercise discipline with his own natural desires. The entire chapter of Proverbs 5 is devoted to explicit warnings concerning how atrocious adultery really is and how harmful this choice can be for one’s own life as well as for the lives of others.
In this chapter the father teaches his son through a series of five lessons on the sin of adultery.
First, he tells his son that there are certain signs of an adulteress woman. Her “lips drip with honey” (vs.3). An adulteress woman is good with words but her character is shallow. For in the end “she is bitter as wormwood” (vs. 4). Why is that so? A woman who will set aside one head, her covenant mate, to take on another man for a momentary pleasure will never be a woman who the man can trust, respect (see Proverbs 31:11-12), and she is unstable and thus the man who desires to have a woman he can trust finds himself with a lady he cannot trust and the relationship is built from a flawed foundation that yields bitterness. Also, he tells his son that an adulteress woman is one who does not possess solid thinking skills as she is unstable as she will “wander” even though she is not mature enough to even “know it” (vs. 6). In other words, an adulteress lacks not only intelligence but she is also one who does not “ponder the path of life,” i.e. she has no vision and mission of eternal life. She is a fleeting facade.
Second, the father then turns and advises his son on the consequences of life that occur when one succumbs to this temptation. When a man takes a woman who is currently under the headship of another man, and commits adultery with her, he can expect serious difficulties to follow. His own “honor” is tarnished (vs. 9), and the acts causes one’s own strength and labors to be forfeited to those who come after the man for the sinful act (vs. 10). Many a man has lost not only fame but also fortune for interfering with another man’s woman. In the end the father tells the son that if he lives in adultery he will one day say: “I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors” (vs. 12-13). This will lead a man to the “bring of utter ruin in the assembled congregation” (vs. 14).
Third, the father, after educating his son what to be beware of, what it will cost the son if he commits adultery, he then commands him towards an obedient life (vs. 15-19). He tells his son that he needs to keep the sexual act sacred and not allow his “springs” to be scattered abroad on the “street,” a poetic way of saying do not let your sex acts be scattered into the common public. Sexuality is sacred and special. Thus he commands his son to be content with the sensual pleasures that come from his “own cistern” (vs. 15) instead of some other man’s sphere of headship.
Fourth, then he probes the mind of his son. Here we see a father’s skill in not just commanding a son but making him think critically. He now turns to ask the son, “Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?” Here the father wants to let the son explore ideas with an open spirit of dialog so that any and every thought can be critically examined and brought under the rule of truth.
Fifth, the father then admonishes the son with an appeal to God’s omnipresence and his omniscience (vs. 21) while connecting that to the judgment of God upon the one who disobeys God’s commands. The father tells the son that God sees every move a man makes. A man might try and hide adultery from the public but it cannot be hidden from the omniscient and omnipresent God. And because of that when a man embarks upon a life of adultery that one will reap disastrous consequences (vs. 22-23).
Practical Application for the Family
Too often fathers and mothers fail to teach their children about the benefit of faithfulness and the consequences of sexual sin. Then, on the other hand, some parents believe the route to go is to condemn sexuality and to add all kinds of rules on a child as if that will stop the child from indulging in sexual sin. If you think it will then read Colossians 2:21-23 where Apostle Paul said such rules have no such value in accomplishing the desired goal. So what should one do? A good father and mother will have open, honest, and real conversations on the true biblical goal of sexuality as they set forth God’s view of it by explaining both the blessings and dangers of sexual love.
Dr. Keith Sherlin
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