Church conflict?
What church conflicts have you gone through?Have you ever experienced a church split? What is the most powerful lesson you have learned from conflict in the church?
22 Comments »
1. Comment by John
Music. No split, but a lot of conflict and bad attitude on both sides. The lesson I’ve learned is that too many Christians forget about Christ when it comes to the idea that their view of secondary things is not the one in place. Also that the side that wants change thinks the other side is unreasonable and should just get over it. I would warn the side that wants the change now that their day will come and it will be expected of them then to see it the way they demanded others see it now. But overall, I was shocked as a fairly new believer to learn that the people in the Church are not so different than the people outside the Church when it comes to not getting their way. Sad. Also: the purpose of a worship leader is NOT to “shake things up”. The purpose of a worship leader is to, as much as this is possible, lead worship. If you make your focus “shaking things up”, then you are almost certainly destroying the worship aspect for the things you are trying to force down your chosen path. This is pride, and sin.
2. Comment by Dan
What is the most powerful lesson you have learned from conflict in the church?
If it isn’t broke do not try to fix it. Change for change sake usually doesn’t sit well with church members.
Yet there are times when change is appropriate and necessary.
Too often, even a good and an appropriate “change” creates a crisis. Proceeding “slow”, being patient, through leadership and congregational prayer, leaving it to the Lord to work things out in the hearts and minds of parishioner’s, and the willingness to test a new idea first before deciding helps to unify the church in being supportive in like mindedness. Creating an atmosphere of ownership in the decision making process and active participation by church members can help to alleviate the rejection of new ideas and change.
Second, elders must move quickly. Speedily in not allowing the demonic tares and wolves a chance to attend nor establish themselves in the church.
Thirdly, planting new churches is not a new idea and it is commanded that Christians do so. Thus sometimes what some would call a split others call an opportunity to plant a new church. It seems reasonable then that if leadership supports the planting, a sister church relationship would/could be in place and continue for the good, all to the oneness in unity and glory for Christ.
In Christ
3. Comment by Douglas Summers
I have lerned that it is not of God.
In Christ
Doug
4. Comment by S
There was a church split here in the uk. Free church of scotland, and the leader of the opposition contacted me and asked me to stand with them, using flattery. Ie it take real truth and courage to walk the path you do in Christ, come join us.
I politely refused, because although his walk was good too, and much of the standing church sucked to say the least to a high level of reek that i had very literally tasted – division was not the answer, but inducing of more mayhem in the Body of Christ.
He overestimated me and underestimated the God in me is all i can say…:)
5. Comment by Debbie
Whew..I have been through four churches in four years, finally finding my God ordained pastor and fellowship in a home church.
The first attempt at church was a horrible experience with the pastor excommunicating a member. Although he and and board of elders discussed this, the majority of us were not really given the reason why. This was contrary to MATT 18 and I was never comfortable with the whole thing. The church internally was split between eternal security believers and non-eternal security believers. I finally left on my own.
My next try ended when Bible teaching went out little by little in favor of Pentecostalism and topical teaching. Slowly but surely in the last year and a half, most of the serious Bible students have split off, like myself, and migrated to other churches seeking solid Biblical teaching. The church itself has grown though, filling with those who prefer ecstatic preaching, tongues, healings, etc.
My third attempt was a fundamentalist Baptist church. The doctrine was very sound, but when the pastor announced from the pulpit that only old hymns with piano and organ accompaniment were acceptable to God and “no long hairs playing drums,” and that KJV Bible was the only acceptable translation, I left in horror, wondering where grace fit into this picture. A friend who went there has since told me that they have had many people leave who do not agree with the pastor and they may be closing the doors.
The last attempt was a Missionary church. Again, there was conflicts in doctrinal beliefs; eternal security and non-eternal security, pre-tribulation believers and amillennielists. We managed to co-exist peacefully until the board called a closed meeting and called a good friend of mine (who is now my pastor) in and accused him of causing division in the church body. I was horrified and could not understand why they would do such a thing. I thought we were all getting along fine, but it became clear to me that the board did not operate in the spirit, but in the flesh. They wanted things their way. They were not concerned with what God wanted. I left, but he stayed and continued to pastor a small group in a home Bible study at his house and until God told him to leave the church to fulfill his call as a pastor.
I really think a church should make any new member aware of their statement of faith and if people don’t agree with it, that they might not wish to fellowship there. I must agree with Dan. Having a statement of faith, the pastor must constantly be aware of wolves in the flock seeking to subvert those doctrines. That was the main problem I encountered. Either nobody knew the statement of faith, or the church itself did not adhere to its own statement. People need to be like minded about certain things in order for there to be unity. Also those who come and warm the benches, have no business criticizing those who operate their spiritual gifts or stand in the gap when certain gifts are lacking. Oftentimes, people are not allowed to operate in the spirit with a gift while those who do not possess the gifts scream, “that’s MY ministry…” We have all experienced these things I am sure.
MARANATHA
6. Comment by Mimi
Thank you all for sharing Judy with me. Also thank you for your prayers. Judy passed away today @ 4:30 am. I found out a few hours ago, when I arrived home from work. I dedicate the Green Christmas Lights to Judy, in her Loving Memory…12-11-2009.
7. Comment by windyblue
I attended a Baptist church, that has so many conflicts the pastor ended up quiting. It was partly his fault too, he was the type that wanted to be involved in every thing that went on in the church. Every committee too.
And he would never let the committee leaders do there jobs, He believed it was His way or the highway. Now add in the people who have money, and some that went to that church had millions. It got worse.
I ended up leaving, I could not take what was going on anymore. It was up and down, with the conflicts, finally well, the Pastor quit, some people stayed in the church, others left, and some just ended up following the Pastor to another church. It got really nasty and ugly.
And the church is still a mess, they do have a new pastor, and all, but its still, not right.
8. Comment by Anonymous
The church I grew up in split, after I came a adult. I learned of a church split up over, “Did Adam have a belly button” another split and half the member at night cut the church building in half.
They are people do not have understand what the church is. The church was set up by Jesus to be witness, for fellowship, to strengthen, to pray for one another and to prepare the ones called to out to minister to the world. It does not need a building for this. The early church met in homes, We can meet in a park, beach, big bus, almost anywhere. Where two or more gathered in Jesus name, he will be there.
The churches I know of, that split or have troubles, I find that the Bible teaching and following what God wants us to do, is very weak or almost non existent.
The person in the body of Our Lord needs to learn to love one another, AND PRAY for what the will of God is, “pray without always.”
9. Comment by Anonymous
to correct my last part,”pray always”
Sorry
10. Comment by Douglas Summers
Hi Mimi,
I’m sorry you lost your earthly friend. It is sad to lose someone you are close to that was a good friend…but there is peace in us who know the plan that God has purposed in His Church. I just lost my sister-in-law two weeks ago to cancer.
But I’am at peace with her in God’s hands. love you in the Lord.
In Christ
Doug
11. Comment by S
Mimi. God bless you in coming to terms with your sisters promotion to God!
12. Comment by S
Doug, id mail you, but will just say it here instead. I’m glad you are at peace brother, you know it isnt a loss, but celbration, God has declared her work over, she is just home in his arms, safe and secure before the rest of us. God Bless and love you my Brother In Christ. Keep up the good work until God decides our time is over too and our work is done and its his time to call us home also.
13. Comment by ceseeley
Mimi and All;
Mimi, Psa 116:15 Precious in the sight of the LORD [is] the death of his saints. Mimi, somewhere I read that “death comes as a welcome relief” maybe Douglas Summers, Debbie etc. can help find it if it is a verse in the Bible? Mimi, now, Judy doesn’t have to suffer anymore because she is with the lord; Mimi, you were a faithful Servant of God to her … Praise the Lord for your obedience and faithfulness!
14. Comment by ceseeley
It is better to leave a church than to enable a split because God uses churches in spite of themselves!
15. Comment by Anonymous
Our church recently went through a split. I don’t think most people understood the circumstances, including myself. There was a lot of anger, and not righteous anger, but just people verbally attacking one another. The split happened kind of quick and I think no one was really prepared for it.
I guess the greatest lesson is that it can happen to any church even your own. A church can look perfect on the outside but can have some troubles behind the façade. And instead of being quick to judge and quick to become angry, turn to God first.
16. Comment by Debbie
Mimi,
“The righteous man perishes, and no one lays it to heart; devout men are taken away, while no one understands. For the righteous man is taken away from calamity; he enters into peace; they rest in their beds who walk in their uprightness.” (ISA 57:1-2)
17. Comment by Mimi
Thank you Douglas, I agree with what you have said. I am at peace knowing Judy is with the Lord. She even held out for a healing until the very end. When she realized it wasn’t the Lord’s will, she told her husband that she was going to die and died a few days after that. My condolences to you for the loss of your sister in law. God Bless her family, you and all those that loved her.
s, thank you that is very kind of you. 
ceseeley, My Brother in Christ: I am most grateful that Judy is no longer suffering. And i know that she sees Jesus face to face, I just wish her and I could sit down and talk about it. I guess I will have to wait. One day I hope to be in the same place. Thank you for the scripture verse.
Thank you to all who prayed for Judy. I told her you were praying for her and she really appreciated all the prayers that she received.
By the way I have read Hebrews, Debbie, Douglas and Mr, Tommy’s suggested reading. Very wonderful indeed.
God Bless Everyone at GQ!
Mimi
18. Comment by Mr. Tommy
Hello, Mimi.
I was saddened to hear of your friend, Judy. But there is a great promise from God in the 30th. Psalm; In (30.5b.) it says “…….weeping shall endure for the night but Joy cometh in the morning…….” When we lose someone that we are very close to, it hurts, and there is nothing we can do about that but endure the pain and discomfort for a while.
And then in (2 Sam.12.15-23) we are told that David’s illigitimate son by Bath-sheba got sick and David, because of his love for the baby, went in to the baby and lay there by the baby on the earth all night, and again and again for six nights. On the seventh day he ask the servants is the baby was dead and they told him: “He is dead”.
David arose up from the earth; washed himself; changed his cloths; and anointed himself; and went into the house of the LORD and worshiped; then he went into his own house. And when he sat down and requested, they set bread before him and he did eat.
V-21)…….”Then said his servants unto him: What is this that thou hast done? Thou didst fast and weep for the child, while he was
alive; and when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread.”
V-22)…….And he said, “While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, Who can tell if GOD will be gracious to me, that the child might live?”
V-23)…….”But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”
Mimi, if we believe in our hearts the way that David believed here in these verses we can go to our loved ones who have gone on before us. You see, David confessed the immortality of the soul, the reality of continual life after death, and the future resurrection of the body.
19. Comment by Mimi
Mr. Tommy,
You have become more of a father to me then my father ever was. The last two times that you have spoken to me, have had a profound impact on my soul. It is as if God has used you as his mouth piece and I feel HIS love through you, pouring out of my computer screen. Everything that you said was what I needed to hear. From your last letter to me, I know more about you as a person. I know that you are suffering with Parkinson’s disease and yet you demonstrate your faith so well. What a living testimony both you and your wife are.
I can’t thank you enough!!!!!!
Love,
Mimi
To All,
PS. Judy asked me to forgive my father and mother, shortly before she died. I said that I would. I told her that I had a long road of healing ahead of me from my father and she said “no you don’t, it is short.” I then asked her if it is because I have reached a road block, that I am where I am at, (because I saw an image in my mind of a road cover in a light sand and in the middle was this road block) and Judy said “yes”. I am asking for prayers to be able to forgive my parents. My parents are going to come to the visitation tomorrow, I invited them, my 1st step in the right direction. If you could pray something in your mind @2:00 Central Standard time, that would be perfect. That is the time we are all meeting to go to the visitation together. Thank you ahead of time and God Bless.
20. Comment by Douglas Summers
Hi Shona,
Thank you. We must all get busy with the work of the Lord in us. For the time is getting close and there is much for us to do. Stand up for the faith against all odds. If righteousness causes division…so be it.
Do not compromise the word of God just to get along. We must die to self and live unto God…or rather live through God in us. We must pray…and pray often about the worlds affairs. Every man that is in a governing position is responsible to God, thou many have,By Pride, assumed that they are responsible to no one.
Satan is a liar and murderer, and has been from the beginning. Let us never lay down our arms and surrender to the flesh, but by constant prayer and fellowship with the Saint’s (the living body of Christ) support and lift one another up in correct doctrine and TRUTH.
For many are sleeping and not watching their household. So let us march forward knowing that our work in the Lord is not in vain, Amen, For He will never leave you.
In Christ
Doug
21. Comment by Mimi
Debbie, Debbie, Debbie!!!!
How on earth did I miss your comment #16??? Well I do have to confess that when I came here it was because I had awoken in the middle of the night. You have ministered to me during both Judy’s illness and passing, God Bless You for that! I went to Church this morning and it was so obvious to me how God never gives up. I need to just receive his grace and his gift of love and thank him period. I could never repay him for all he has done. Grace: Giving & Receiving based on love not merit. Not one of us could ever pay Jesus back for what he did for us. The Prereq.for Grace is Humility. It isn’t about me, I didn’t earn it, it is Grace. Well needless to say I got a lot out of today’s service….I can’t WAIT to go back to Church again!!!!
22. Comment by S
Agree & Echo Doug, total!
LOL, liked, no issue with that one, id often be forgiven for thinking im the most hated person around at times – no qualms with that one.
Like the misled shrinko said to me, do you ever find people just rear up at you? I said, yes, often – of course she marked that one down like all else as for oppositie reasons as to what is Truth lol!
Mouthes of babes again and you will get this…kids are very excited, but passioned to work hard too cos they know/feel rapture so close too. But few weeks ago; im pretty renowned locally for going out in my bare feet to deal with crap, spontaneous – go sort – and also for heeled boots, but few weeks ago kids came home and im sporting (new) boots with no heels and more akin to army boots. They burst out smiling and one said look at mothers boots, its coming soon – she means business now. Children! Wisest of all of us children – always.
It is indeed time for 3.16 True Soldiers!
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